I get a lot of calls from fathers who say they are victims of “parental alienation syndrome.” When I talk to them, I try to explain that using a label isn’t very helpful, especially in Maryland’s courts. The fact is, the family bench in Maryland isn’t fond of this argument.

That doesn’t mean that the problem isn’t real, it just means that the focus in a litigated custody case has to be on something more than a label. It has to be on the behavior of the parent, whether mom or dad, and believe me, both can indulge in this form of child abuse.

Here’s a link to a Today show clip that featured that now-famous and very ugly voicemail left by actor Alec Baldwin, for his daughter: Dale Atkins, Author of “Sanity Savers” Talks About the Behavior Behind Parental Alienation.

Here’s the problem. In order to document the behavior, you need a qualified mental health professional (read, psychologist NOT social worker) who understands the problem well enough to identify it, and to render an expert opinion as to how best to help the child who is the victim of the bad behavior. It’s hard enough for most working parents to afford competent legal counsel to navigate the maze of litigating for the rights of their children to time with each parent. When you add the cost of a qualified psychologist to the mix, it’s not something most working families can manage.

Some of Maryland’s courts have tried to address the problem with offering family support services that sometimes includes a custody evaluation, but even that olive branch is inconsistently applied. For example, in one large and well-heeled county, the court employs social workers who are not qualified to administer and interpret the testing that identifies and diagnoses the problems of behavior demonstrated by one hateful parent towards the other parent. Other counties have better mechanisms in place, requiring a fixed fee for the service, but in order to access the service, the offending parent has to demonstrate severe dysfunction. Many problem parents have other problems, such as personality disorders. A feature of these problems is the ability of the person with the disorder to manipulate helping professionals into “buying” their distorted view of reality.

Given the current economic climate and the very real limits imposed on state and local governments to provide free or reduced-fee services to family law litigants, it is crucial for us all to become actively involved in the budgetary process of our local and state governments to legislate for budgets that support families first.