Well, after two years of the tagline my consultant suggested, “Protecting Father’s Rights is the Best Way to Protect Children’s Rights,” I’m changing it! Thankfully, I haven’t applied for that trademark yet!

The new mission statement of Maryland Family Law Firm is: “Protecting Children’s Rights to GOOD Fathers.”

Why am I doing this? I’ll tell you why.

Because I’ve gotten too many clients who walk in the door swearing their kids are more important to them than anything else and who don’t walk the walk.

Before long (and sometimes after far too long) I learn that they were just talking the talk. It’s always something. Often, they CLAIM it’s the money it costs to litigate, but when I drill down far enough, I find it’s just plain old selfishness. Sometimes it’s the time and energy. Sometimes it’s just plain old pride. But sooner or later, in all but a handful of cases, it becomes clear that these fathers are a whole lot more interested in themselves than in their kids.

Sadly, for the children, that usually means they have two parents, each of whom is incapable of putting them first. I used to think I wanted to be a judge. Now, I wouldn’t touch that job with a ten-foot pole. I’d want to tell the parents they BOTH lose, that there are lots of folks out there who could and would do the job a lot closer to doing right by the kids. And so far, that kind of decision just wouldn’t pass Constitutional muster. We knock ourselves out protecting the Constitutional rights of parents to parent, but we don’t do much to protect the rights of children to good (or at least good enough) parents.

Don’t get me wrong, I still think the legal process is far too harsh and unsympathetic to fathers. I know and have seen some terrible judicial results, some awful legislation, and even worse societal sanction on maternal incompetency.

But the fact is, after two years of this work, I’m beginning to understand why. When a judge is faced with two parents, both of whom are banging the drum about THEIR rights, and the theory of each of their cases boils down to, “He’s worse than I am,” “Nuh uh, SHE is!” I can well understand how the easiest thing to do is the currently politically correct thinking, and that usually means giving mom the benefit of the doubt.

Of course, I could go on and on about how there aren’t enough family judges out there willing to actually read the court file, listen to ALL of the evidence, and make a decision, no matter how unpopular and even if it means saying one parent is not as capable as the other, but that’s a story for another blog post.

THIS post is about the kids. The best thing life gives us. From this day forward, this practice is dedicated to THEM and their right to GOOD fathers.

If you’re interested in an interactive discussion of what a “good father” is, here’s a link from Wikipedia: How to Be A GOOD Father. Read it carefully, and feel free to post your thoughts.